We got so high we made milksteak
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
