IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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