Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We're like a lot better than the average bears
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
