I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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