maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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