nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
