and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
