my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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