My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dear god my vagina.
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