We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize