i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize