More tranny stories later!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
