Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
