It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
