Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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