so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
