apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
