my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
