She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You made out with two different species that night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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