she looked like the bat from fern gully.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So apparently I’m into choking now
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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