I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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