I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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