There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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