how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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