I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
