I love having hate sex.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
