I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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