So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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