idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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