I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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