we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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