Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
