My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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