take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
