It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
