For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
