my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
