No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
