My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
