im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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