Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
