I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize