ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
