oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
