In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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