so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
