I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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