Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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