I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
