its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
we should paint friendship bongs
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