I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
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I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize