I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
