KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
