you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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