I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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