The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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