Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
