im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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