??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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