It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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