We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
