i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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