my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am available for nakedness
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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